I need a calm blue ocean. I need to find a quiet place where the “function of x” is irrelevant and algebra is frowned upon. Surely that Utopia exists?
Driving home last night, I tried to find the silver lining in actually (gasp) having to study. I remember last year how I spent hours and hours capturing ordinary, even ugly things with my camera in an attempt to find their beauty. As I browsed through old photos after class, I re-discovered this flower growing from a cracked foundation. I had a moment of peace as I realized, beauty can grow out of ugly things.
Math is an ugly, cracked foundation in my brain. I didn’t pay attention when I was younger and didn’t have the best teachers, and as a result I never nailed the basics. But, out of seemingly nothing, I’m sure something incredible can blossom as new neural connections form. I’m stretching a little here, but maybe as I look for what’s beautiful in the formulas and patterns, it will look less ugly to me.