The Bonnie Raitt song has been stuck in my head all day (and now it will likely be stuck in yours):
Hey, hey, have a heart, hey, have a heart.
If you don’t love me, why don’t you let me go?
Have a heart, please, oh don’t you have a heart?
Little by little you fade while I fall apart.
The lyrics got me thinking about some terrible break-up experiences I’ve had in my 30’s. I believe a man’s true character is revealed in the way he chooses to break up with a woman (or whatever gender combination you’d like to insert here).
How NOT to break up with someone
(All but two of these actually happened to me. I’ll let you guess which ones they were.)
- Ignore them until they go away
- Send a text message
- Shoot off an email
- Have a friend break the news
- Sneak out while she’s getting ready for bed
- Go to the beach while she waits outside of your apartment and then pretend you’re not you when she calls to find out where you are
- Change your Facebook relationship status to single
How to be a mature adult
- At the very least, CALL her
- Meet in person and have a conversation (preferred, man-of-the-year method)
I know it’s not fun looking into the eyes of someone who is still very much in love with you and breaking her heart. I know you are worried she will make a scene and ask you a bunch of questions. I know you would rather get back to playing your video games (even though you are in your 30’s) than answer them. But, man up! She may cry now, but she’ll respect you later.
So concludes my dating advice and Valentine’s Day rant for the year.