Have a Heart

heart
Cell phone photo of 2-year-old Wilton sugar icing decorations. Yum! They are on a glossy, black clipboard and facing my window. See what you can do with so little!

 

The Bonnie Raitt song has been stuck in my head all day (and now it will likely be stuck in yours):

Hey, hey, have a heart, hey, have a heart.
If you don’t love me, why don’t you let me go?
Have a heart, please, oh don’t you have a heart?
Little by little you fade while I fall apart.

The lyrics got me thinking about some terrible break-up experiences I’ve had in my 30’s.  I believe a man’s true character is revealed in the way he chooses to break up with a woman (or whatever gender combination you’d like to insert here).

How NOT to break up with someone

(All but two of these actually happened to me. I’ll let you guess which ones they were.)

  • Ignore them until they go away
  • Send a text message
  • Shoot off an email
  • Have a friend break the news
  • Sneak out while she’s getting ready for bed
  • Go to the beach while she waits outside of your apartment and then pretend you’re not you when she calls to find out where you are
  • Change your Facebook relationship status to single

How to be a mature adult

  • At the very least, CALL her
  • Meet in person and have a conversation (preferred, man-of-the-year method)

I know it’s not fun looking into the eyes of someone who is still very much in love with you and breaking her heart. I know you are worried she will make a scene and ask you a bunch of questions. I know you would rather get back to playing your video games (even though you are in your 30’s) than answer them. But, man up!  She may cry now, but she’ll respect you later.

So concludes my dating advice and Valentine’s Day rant for the year.

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8 thoughts on “Have a Heart

  1. I think this is great advice, but when you look at it from the heart breaker’s perspective, what’s his incentive to do it with integrity? Perhaps if persons being broken up with took the news in stride, he might be more inclined to take the courageous route? It only takes one bad experience to scare him for life.

    1. His incentive should be his own conscience, I would hope. Our ability to do the right thing should never be inhibited by someone’s inability to handle the truth. I certainly don’t want to pay for another woman’s mistakes.

  2. (or whatever gender combination you’d like to insert here)–
    i’m thinking centaur (whose lack of human genitalia always surprises) and whimsical eunuch, but that’s just me.

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