Barbed Embrace

11 months down, 1 to go.

How do I kick off the final month of 2010?   I thought this barbed wire seemed appropriate.  Let me explain.

I had high hopes for 2010.   I was enrolled in college courses again and working towards nursing school.  I was focused.  I knew exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.   And then a single relationship shipwrecked my plans.  

This isn’t a post to belittle the person who broke my heart, because that broken heart was a gift.    I had fooled myself into thinking I had my life together, and that my path was straight.  The truth was, I was lost at sea and whether it was that man or someone else, I was sailing into a storm.    When it passed, and pieces of me were scattered across the beach that’s my life, I found that in my rebuilding I wasn’t at all who I thought I was.  

So, 2010 was what I’d like to call a “Barbed Embrace”.   While I was supported by wonderful people, and I learned a lot both spiritually and emotionally, it still hurt.  A lot.  And while I can’t wait to leave this year behind, I can’t forget what the pain and rebuilding taught me.  

There’s beauty, even in our suffering.

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Comments

15 comments on “Barbed Embrace”
  1. Yellow (hehehe)! Jolene, know that you have the bestest everest (No, I was not speaking Canadian…eh) friends who care for ya dearly. Even though they may not say it, just know they are here for ya (for example, loaning ya a camera for ever and ever)! Here’s to a GREAT 2011 for you!

  2. Emily Gooch says:

    Beautiful image and metaphor.

    I can certainly understand your illusion of finding love and ended up with heartache. Sometimes, bad things happen for a good reason. Even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.

    Just know that you don’t have to wait for this year to be over to see that things are looking up for you. Just look at this blog… all the beauty you have created and the joy it brings to people who reads it. Most of all the strength you’ve discovered within yourself to move forward. That’s a great thing! 🙂

    1. That’s very sweet, Emily. I like your perspective, and I do appreciate the people I have connected with through this blog. I’m not sure I’d have gotten as involved in it if it weren’t for the heartache.

  3. Heather says:

    Oh–thanks for being so candid. I really like the metaphor of a barbed embrace, and that also reminds me of a poem I wrote a while back.

    Embraces aren’t supposed to be painful, but if it sends us in the right direction, then that definitely is something to be grateful for.

    1. I’m interested in reading that poem, Heather!

      I think I tend to be one of those people who needs a little kick in the pants to get going in the right direction. I wish I wasn’t! This year I’ve tried to embrace the pain and learn from it instead of getting angry. It’s made a big difference.

  4. cigi says:

    Beautiful image and metaphor. I empathize with what you’ve written here. Seems we have more in common than just photography. You’re so right, though, a broken heart can be an opportunity for spiritual and emotional growth if you allow it to be. Here’s to better times in 2011! 🙂

    1. I will raise a glass to that! 2011 is going to be great!

  5. Jolene, I have to believe 2011 is going to be a wonderful year for you because of all you have learned during these difficult times and the fact that you have such a positive attitude. As they say, the right person who can appreciate all of you will appear when the time is right. In the meantime live and love life….

    1. Maria, your encouragement means a lot to me! I think the only real option is to live and love life. The biggest thing I came to realize through this is that I have to learn to love what I have and not stress about what I don’t.

      1. And as corny as this sounds, you have to love yourself and be good to yourself.

      2. I don’t think that sounds corny at all. How can we love anything else if we aren’t okay with ourselves?

  6. Cipher says:

    I was exactly where you are a few years ago. I moved half-way across the country to start my life over. You never forget the heartbreak but things do get better. You learned from your experiences and it sounds like you have a good support network. I’m thinking 2011 will be a better year for you. (And I like the picture – planning to visit that location and shoot some pictures if we ever get a clear day again).

    1. I truly am blessed to have the support that I do. Good friends really help you see what you are missing sometimes.

      NSH – I find something new everytime I go! I don’t think you’ll be able to visit just once.

  7. I understand your pain, your self-doubt, your need to get through the year one day at a time. For different reasons I have also been knocked out of my complacency and had to re-think who I am and what is really important in my life.

    I hope that things are getting easy for you, and that you have a peaceful and happy 2011.

    1. Thanks, Lisa. They are getting better. If life was easy, we’d never grow as individuals – at least that’s how I look at it. 2011 is going to be a great year!!

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